Doing any job awesomely requires you struggling with yourself. The converse restatement perhaps states it more strongly: if you’re not struggling internally with yourself, you’re not trying hard enough, you’re not challenging yourself enough, and you’re not growing your skills to the next level… and your boss will notice.
When you really wrestle deeply with anything, there will be serious, deep challenges. It will hurt.
Maybe you try so hard to do something, you get crushed when it doesn’t turn out how you want it to. (Being so deeply engaged emotionally has its positives and negatives, so I’m not necessarily recommending it—think about it as it applies to your situation.)
Maybe you feel so strongly about a strategy, a tactic, or a decision that a war or tension bubbles up between you and others on the team.
Maybe you’re trying so hard to learn an aspect of your profession that you’re not strong at or a new related skill, and you’re just terrible at the new skill you’re trying to acquire, and that is exposed to the team.
Maybe you take a risk and, like most risky events, it goes the wrong way. Taking risks is essential, even though they fail more often than not.
Maybe you need to do things that you’re not quite comfortable with because they get closer to an ethical line that you’re hesitant about, or maybe they’re too far away from your personality.
Maybe your flaws and Achilles’ Heels have been exposed, or are just starting to get exposed, so you’re forced to confront your own weaknesses.
Maybe the feedback on your work reveals you’re just not performing well enough.
Maybe that feedback isn’t worded in the nicest way possible.
Maybe a bit of all of the above, mixed together into an explosively powerful and dangerous stew.
The only way to avoid the struggle yourself is to underperform, the struggle can’t be sourced.
But here’s the thing: your boss, client, or manager knows that. If they see you struggling with these meta-issues, they will realize that you’re challenging yourself to grow to the next level.
And that’s good. They are, almost always, on your side, and want you to win. And they know that for you to win, you need to struggle.
So, the key point is: struggle with the issues yourself so you can become even better at your chosen trade… and don’t be afraid to expose just enough of that struggle to them and let them know you’re struggling. That’s how you win respect, and make sure you balance that “just enough” fine line. Too little, you come off as fake; too much, you come off as not as competent as you hopefully are.
